It is of utmost importance to carefully choose the people we associate with, as we are greatly influenced by our own peer group because they can assist in developing a strong individual identity. We usually feel more secure when we know that we have others around us who share our goals and care about our progress. Being part of a peer group fosters the idea that we are accepted and loved for who we are. This is why change is often difficult for certain individuals because suddenly, you are cut off from your regular group, who you have become so familiar with. We sometimes seem wired to adopt the goals of the people around us, particularly when we develop a close relationship with them.
No one wants to be so unlike everyone else. No one wants to not be liked or viewed differently. Everyone simply wants to fit in. In the American Scholar, Margaret Drabble expresses this thought in the quote,” Our desire to conform is greater than our respect for objective facts.” We are constantly affected by external factors that create a view of how we should be living, and, as a result change our internal opinions and mindset. This explains our society today because people are conforming to society from external factors, like our appearance, and by internal factors, like with our opinions.
This type of friend, in either category, knows when what’s being asked of them is too far; they are also those who want to see the best in you and will always be by your side, even when the going gets tough. Most of all, a true friendship is a mutual symbiotic relationship and it’s these relationships that are an essential part of life because friends help us through tough situations, they offer hope make someone feel worthwhile. Many books and/or short stories try to capture the importance of these relationships and in any form of literature we see either healthy friendships or ones that will never last. The last three pieces that we, as a class, had to read we were able to see how “friends” interact and how friends are supposed to act based upon the teachings offered by Aristotle on the subject matter. All three of the texts of “Melvin in the Sixth Grade” by Dana Johnson, “Book IX” by Aristotle, and “The Man who was Recklessly Curious” by Miguel de Cervantes are written on the subject of friends, however all portray their message in different light.
Some examples would be, to move to a place where you didn't speak the language; this would make it hard to communicate with your neighbors or your community. Should a person have to alter their ways just to be able to fit in and be accepted? I find it much easier to live in a community where people are more like my self. Being accepted can go both ways. If you accept them, they would have to accept you in order to live in one
Unfortunately, I’ve learned the hard way that sadly not all people are good. I tend to face myself against reality when I don’t want to see the negative in situations. Which is why I have set making good friends as one of my goals. I believe that a friend should never hold you back from your dreams and instead they should be there to help and guide you through the bad, the good, and the ugly. They should be a support system and be there for you as much as you would be there for them and it’s always nice to have good influences as you grow into adulthood.
“Belonging is when people accept you for who you are” Our identity determines who we are and where we belong, and it undergoes a continual change as we are exposed to different kinds of environments and people. Belonging means to feel a sense of welcome and acceptance to someone or something. It is indeed true that belonging is when people accept you for who you are, isolation and depression often ensues when one fails to find a sense of belonging. Our sense of belonging could be affected by the change of our experiences overtime, and how easily we are influenced by our family and friends, or even media. As it may be difficult to discover our true identity, it jeopardises our ability to find a sense of belonging, because we are weary from our previous unpleasant experiences.
Before I read the book, I could have been overdramatic and reacted theatrically to what now seems as silly happenings and consider myself to have a difficult life. Although I know my life is not perfect, I now regard my family and home life as the life I would chose to live over any other. The thankfulness this book has rooted in me has forever changed my life. Whenever I find myself in a difficult situation, I know that I have a family who loves me and will support me through anything, regardless of what it is. I realize now that this is a blessing that others may
1 We all have our own different perception of what belonging is. Belonging to me is being able to feel comfortable in your environment, feeling like you belong somewhere, like your wanted, feeling as though your individuality still lets you fit in. It’s a desire of everyone to belong. Whether we belong because of our looks, personality, hobbies or even our differences, we all want to fit in. | Experiences we encounter throughout our life can make us feel as though we don’t belong..
Belonging is a way of having acceptance, security and fulfilment whether it’s belonging to a group of friends, family, race and culture. Experiences we encounter in life shape our identity in various, throughout all stages of our life. Through this, we develop a sense of identity as a result of going through the experience, which is what makes us different from one another. Experiences we encounter make us who we are, and make us a unique individual. These experiences may also present us with a sense of belonging, whether this is by the means of feeling acceptance or fulfilment.
When I reflected on this, what comes to my mind is my struggle with loneliness. Humans all live masking their shame, trying to suffocate their temptations all by themselves. The problem, though, as we were created to do it all by ourselves to be truly human is to truly know someone who hides can't be. no we are created to meet each other--To be honest with each other, to encourage each other, and to love each other, and that only happens when we are open with each other. Isn’t it sad that we are currently living in a time where we can find what our friends did today or even ate, but we are also the most disconnected the most fragmented?