Authoritative Vs. Authoritarian Parenting Style And Child Development

Authoritative versus Authoritarian Parenting Style And Child Development I know from personal experience that the authoritarian form of parenting, along with alcoholism and violence in a home, is very damaging to children. My husband, Jim, and I both came from such homes, and our parents were very authoritarian. Authoritarian parents “believe in strict adherence to their rules, are unlikely to discuss rules with their children, and emphasize discipline and obedience” (Kaufman, et. al, 2000, p. 232). Our parents believed that they were parenting as they should since their parents used the same parenting styles on them as children. As I grew older, I often wondered if, perhaps, I would have had more confidence in myself had I been raised with a different parenting style such as authoritative and if my parents had shown me more love. I still suffer from a lack of confidence even though I went through twelve years in the military, received a Bachelors degree, and have held a few key positions. I blame my lack of self-confidence on my parents’ parenting style, my father’s alcoholism, and the violence I witnessed in our home. My parents were (and still are) very cold. I received spankings and beatings with a belt whenever my parents thought I needed it. I was a normal child getting into my share of trouble as I grew up. There was no discussion of rules or input from the children in my family. My mother was the disciplinarian. I only remember my father striking me one time, and that was as I was arguing with him when I was an adolescent. My father, instead, took his frustrations out on my mother. He was a hard-working man, but an alcoholic on the weekends. Sometimes I hated to see the weekend come because I knew what was going to happen Saturday night. My father would be coming home drunk; he and my mother would argue; my father would