Self-Compassion, Self-Esteem, and Well-Being

7872 Words32 Pages
Social and Personality Psychology Compass 5/1 (2011): 1–12, 10.1111/j.1751-9004.2010.00330.x Self-Compassion, Self-Esteem, and Well-Being Kristin D. Neff* University of Texas at Austin Abstract This article focuses on the construct of self-compassion and how it differs from self-esteem. First, it discusses the fact that while self-esteem is related to psychological well-being, the pursuit of high self-esteem can be problematic. Next it presents another way to feel good about oneself: selfcompassion. Self-compassion entails treating oneself with kindness, recognizing one’s shared humanity, and being mindful when considering negative aspects of oneself. Finally, this article suggests that self-compassion may offer similar mental health benefits as self-esteem, but with fewer downsides. Research is presented which shows that self-compassion provides greater emotional resilience and stability than self-esteem, but involves less self-evaluation, ego-defensiveness, and self-enhancement than self-esteem. Whereas self-esteem entails evaluating oneself positively and often involves the need to be special and above average, self-compassion does not entail selfevaluation or comparisons with others. Rather, it is a kind, connected, and clear-sighted way of relating to ourselves even in instances of failure, perceived inadequacy, and imperfection. Imagine that you’re an amateur singer-songwriter, and you invite your friends and family to see you perform at a nearby coffeehouse that showcases local talent. After the big night you ask everyone how they thought it went. ‘You were average’ is the reply. How would you feel in this scenario? Ashamed, humiliated, like you were a failure? In our incredibly competitive society, being average is unacceptable. We have to be special and above average to feel we have any worth at all. The problem, of course, is that

More about Self-Compassion, Self-Esteem, and Well-Being

Open Document