Luna Williams English 100 02/10/2014 Just Whom is This Divorce “Good” For? Divorce is a huge topic a lot of parents think about when they feel that there spouse is no longer compatible with them and also the fact that it’s not working out for reason only they will know. It may just be the fact that two people that were deeply in love just feel out of it because of no connection anymore. In the article “Just Whom Is This Divorce” Good” For? Written by Elizabeth Marquart talks about how divorce can cause children even from a good divorce go through it there selves when they get older, children also feel that they are to blame for their parents getting divorced and they lose all interest for other things, there is also a lot of controversy about which parent gets which day can just lead up to a huge custody battle for most.
The Fairy Tale In his essay, “The End of Courtship,” Leon R. Kass claims that “people on both the left and right have come to regard the breakup of marriage as a leading cause of neglect, indeed, of the psychic and moral maiming, of America’s children”(224). The high divorce rates in our society are staggering and recognizable; yet we can point out the problem but can’t seem to provide a solution. There are several “deal breakers” in a marriage with many being obvious and some not so obvious; however the relationship problems people face today are no different then what couples faced in the past when divorce was rare and vows of lifetime commitments and family values were worth fighting for. The question we must ask ourselves is
Children are affected by the divorce more if the parents have custody hearings or move away from each other. The decision to terminate an unhappy marriage through obtaining a divorce is almost never an easy decision. It is usually reached only after other options and alternatives have been carefully considered and then rejected as non-viable
In the chapter the author discusses how divorce is related to emotional feelings and that its even worse than death because you lose someone you know is alive which is worse from my point of view. Mentioned in the chapter is how the divorce reflects negatively of course on the children and the parents as well. For the parents it’s going through the process of losing their partnership as a husband or a wife and for the kids or children it’s the loss of the intimate relationship of the day to day with their non-residential parent. Which of course resembles for both, the parents and the children, home feeling of belonging. Other than that of course there are different stages of mixed up feelings either anger, conflicts adapting to the new life, sadness and grief.
Perhaps most of the time the only solution to living happily is by getting divorce. There is not a specific reason of why people choose to divorce, but base on Psychologist studies there is a many reasons of why people choose to separate their life after sharing it together for many years. Some of the reasons of why people get divorce are: • Lack of Communication • Domestic Violence • Alcohol and Substance Abuse The breakdown of a family can have many repercussions on the individual members with the least involvement. The children involved in a divorce are often the most impacted victims of a divorce. Children with divorced parents are often left feeling neglected by the parent that has chosen to move out, unloved, and often times burdened with feelings of guilt.
Most families will suffer stresses from time to time e.g. a family member becoming ill or losing their job, some of these issues are temporary but others are more permanent such as living with a long-term illness/disability. In some cases a family unit and can be broken by a separation of parents or a lone parent entering into a new relationship, these stresses can have a definite effect on a child’s development. * Personal choices - this has more merit in older children as they have more independence in making decisions in everyday life such as not to smoke, drink and have sex. The wrong decision can have a detrimental effect on development e.g.
Sociologically, grieving within families is not an easy task. Each family member reacts to death differently and forces family members to make changes in their lives in order to adjust to life without this family member. Raney and Charles had a hard time accepting the suicide of Uncle Nate. When Charles voiced his opinion that Uncle Nate was clearly depressed, obsessive-compulsive, and crippled from his life experiences, thus needing psychological help in order to heal, Raney took it as an insult. In Raney’s mind, Charles was placing blame on her, her family, and specifically, her mother who spent most of her time taking care of Uncle Nate.
How are these stressors affecting Jennifer’s self-concept and self-esteem? Jennifer’s self-esteem has been lower because she doesn’t see her husband much and she has suffer the loss of a baby. When you have a miscarriage it is a blow to your self-esteem because it’s supposed to be the one thing that every woman can do. You need a few things to make it throw a miscarriage your husband for support and she doesn’t have his support as much as she may need it because she has to commute to and from work. Next after a miscarriage you suffer from wanting to replace the baby you lost with becoming pregnant again Jennifer is under great pressure just
Both of these stories show how any relationship, if not kept healthy, honest, and maintained can lead to a lack of trust or in severe cases, a breakup. Both Shukumar and Waythorn experience a sense of isolation in their marriages, yet Shukumar is the character who has to endure more by the ending of the story, due to a broken heart, the dependence on his wife and the time he invested in their relationship. When Shukumar found out that Shoba was leaving him, he was surprised to say the least. While the relationship was on rocky roads, it still hurt him to know that the woman he loved was abandoning him. Waythorn on the other hand doesn’t go through heartbreak, he and his wife were together by then end of the story and it didn’t seem as if either of the two planned on ending anything.
In this case, child still can have good understanding of various situations and be able to grow with the right vision of the family. The situation is different and more complicated in the families that have gone through the challenges of divorce. Child, whose parents got divorced, goes through significant emotional shock and re-evaluation of the core values and moral principles. In the majority of cases, divorce causes a lot of negative emotions between parents that cannot be hidden from a child and, consequently, it goes deeply into the mind and mentality of a child. Negative aspects and attributes of divorce, such as discussions on the parental control, cruel scenes between parents and negligent attitude towards the child, as proven by the empirical research data, influence future behavioral patterns of this child and create dysfunctional attitude and relationships in his or her own family.