April 04, 2011 Journal for Jordan by Dana Canedy opens different points of view on the decision of Charles having gone to war when his partner Dana had just become pregnant. She has an opinion about his decision as expressed when she says: “He simply could not be sent into battle. It had taken us too long to find each other” (Canedy 105). At the same time she tries to support Charles because she knows how hard he fought for it and how important this mission was for him, as we see in the following sentence uttered by Dana: “I did have political view about war—everyone did, and I could have forced him into debating the issue. But none of that seemed right now.
I was confused, terrified, upset, and depressed” (Duval). All she could think about was how impossible it would be to raise a child. Harley’s choices of having a baby would be changed if it was in her control. Abortion was never in her mind, adoption was a possibility; but when she saw the first ultrasound of her baby, her mind changed about the pregnancy situation. It was her mistake, so she is going to take on her responsibility, and be a great parent for her unborn child.
I did not want my son to think that I just gave him away because I did not love him or want him. I know I would never have a peace of mind if I went this route. I looked through adoption profiles of couples who were hoping to adopt. All their stories broke my heart and made me wish I had a baby for each of them. I then realized once more how incredibly lucky I was to be able to have a baby and the chance to love, care, and nurture him.
This also allowed Tim to see what the problem was and how sever it was getting for me. TeiJay was so out of control I could not make him mined without getting extremely tuff with him. I did everything I could without getting physical and I did not want it to get to that point. After the summer had ended TeiJay came back home and I knew than what the right thing was to do for him and that was to go ahead and let him live with dad. But how was I going to convince my daughter to let these happen was the next step in the plan.
There was no time for fun or being a child. And if you were a child my aunt and uncle made you responsible one. You had to help; “no pain, no gain”. I was always excited when my dad came and we went back home. My cousin used to tell me that there was no way she would move to town and leave country and all the things she likes to do there.
I didn’t really want to ride that horse, but I felt I had to because Grandpa kept telling Mom and Dad that I belonged on a real horse and not some wooden thing. I didn’t like the horse; when it hit certain angles it jolted and scared me even more. Mom and Dad offered me another ride on it, but I refused. “Want some cotton candy?” Junior brought me back to reality. “We had fun going on the rides and trying to win some prizes.
I have always found the Romanov’s a fascinating study as it seemed that the family was just an ordinary family who should never have been in the position they were put in. Their decline was not due to evil but simply to their inability to occupy the positions they were required to, which I have always found very tragic and wanted to learn more about. I initially wanted to concentrate on the family’s final days but felt I could not justify such an approach without first going into their background so have changed my intended approach somewhat, and have decided to look at the decisions and reasons that led them to their deaths. I want to look at original documents, such as letters and newspapers and also biographies that really tell the personal story of the doomed family. I want to visit the local library, of which I am already a member, and also make use of the internet, an invaluable tool to any research.
My doubt I had in myself hampered me from feeling as though I was incapable of changing my situations. I want his belief in self to be his perserverence. Only I held myself back, through having a fixed mindset for all those years because my father did not believe in me. I wish to be the reason my son never holds back, that he will always push on and up because his mother always believed in him and told him he could and how he can not what he can't and how he will fail. I chose not to have fixed mindsets anymore.
The reason I say bittersweet is because I have always wanted to have children just not as soon as I did and the bitter part is I knew a lot of things I had planned wouldn’t happen or would be put on hold. I can honestly say that moment changed my entire life forever. At that point I knew a lot of things had to change, I had to get a job and save up for everything he was going to want or need. Nothing in my life was the same at that point and everything was defiantly put on hold but was well worth it. My son is the best thing that ever happened to me none the less I have experienced life at a new angle.
More fights, more arguments and most of all more isolation between me and my parents occurred. I didn’t understand why they weren’t allowing me explore and have some fun since I knew I was only going to be young once and I didn’t want it to go to waste. Eventually I would win the arguments and they would allow me to go out in the streets at night go out and have fun, little did I know is that it wasn’t what I expected all fun and games but danger and trouble. Now I understood why they would fight against me and all the things I would see made me value my parents even more. Now my only struggle is to help and provide for my family and make them proud.