Self Reflection End of Life Care

1164 Words5 Pages
“Ka is a wheel. Its only purpose is to turn. The spin of ka always brings us back to the same place, to face and reface our mistakes and defeats until we can learn from them. When we learn from the past, the wheel continues to move forward, towards growth and evolution. When we don’t, the wheel spins backward, and we are given another chance. If once more we waste the opportunity, the wheel continues its rotation towards devolution, or destruction.” (Furth 2006). The first time I experienced loss, true heart breaking, soul crushing, deep, world ending loss, I was fifteen years old. I can remember the exact moment with perfect clarity and in great detail as if it just happened today and not 17 years ago. I was sitting on the living room floor eating peanuts and mindlessly watching television with my two sisters. I wasn’t thinking about the phone call I had received that morning. The one where my best friend John had called me crying, begging me to come over. He was on the other end of the line crying, begging, and pleading for me to meet him at his house because he was sad. He was just so impossibly sad. He wanted to die. He needed me to come over. All I could think about at the time was not again John. I just want to go back to sleep John. You’ve said this all before John. You never actually go through with it John. I love you John but you can’t keep doing this. I’m not going to keep running to you every single time you get the blues. I was thinking all of these things but all I could manage to say in my hazy, sleep deprived, annoyed, slightly angry, fifteen year old girl state of mind was “Fine John, do whatever you feel like you’ve got to do” and I hung up the phone. That morning after I unsympathetically hung up the phone on him, John wrapped a belt around his neck and hung himself. He didn’t leave a note. I wasn’t thinking about that phone call because I had

More about Self Reflection End of Life Care

Open Document