My Modest Proposal

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My Modest Proposal Everyday, in classrooms across the country, students fall asleep during their lessons. The teacher at the front of the room continues to try their best to teach a “dull” subject, as some students say, such as evolution or grammar and they watch as their students’ heads go down, one by one. The reason the students cannot remain awake rest in the fact that they have no energy. Students do not receive enough sleep or do not have a satisfactory breakfast to supply their bodies with protein and carbohydrates. (Of course, teachers will never blame the lack of attention from their students on the content or delivery of their lectures.) But, finally, a plausible solution shows itself. Starting in classes for as young as third graders, all desk chairs will be wired to a switchboard and will exert a mild shock to the person sitting in it. At the touch of a button, the teacher can instantly awaken the student without interrupting their lecture. By applying this method, teachers will no longer have to deter from their lesson plans to force students to pay attention. Students will also benefit from the program, as they will no longer miss notes or assignments due to sleeping in class. This method can also provide use for students who do not follow directions, use a cell phone or other unauthorized electronic device, and those select students who fail to abide by the rules of the classroom. A dear friend of mine, of whom I hold in the highest regard, showed a less than enthusiastic reply to my “modest proposal.” He referred to my method as “unreasonable” and “overly exaggerated.” His main concern was that this method would cause more distractions in the classroom. He reasoned that the students would overreact to the shock and cause a disturbance. I went on the explain to him that a teacher calling a student out in the middle of class provided as
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