The Holy Land Experience

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Disney World is for sinners. Apparently, I was the first person to walk into the Holy Land. Plenty of others were there when I arrived, but they drove. The Holy Land is in Orlando, FL, of course, and is officially named “The Holy Land Experience.” It is “a living, biblical museum and park that brings the world of the Bible alive!” And it’s run by Christians. My journey to The Holy Land Experience (HLE) turned into a grueling pilgrimage, as the HLE does not provide shuttle service from the Orlando airport and a taxi would’ve cost about $60. I took a $17 shuttle to the nearest hotel, a maddening 1.7 miles from The Holy Land Experience. A taxi from the Best Western Universal Inn probably would have cost less than $10, but who takes a taxi to the holy land?!? Not me. I walked in 80 degree heat rolling my luggage behind me. You can re-trace my non-spiritual, enlightening journey here. The Holy Land Experience is across the street from a 7-11, which is comforting. I’ve always placed great faith in Slurpees. Visitors to The Holy Land Experience are greeted by a sign. As I walked into The Holy Land Experience, I was met by two security personnel. They looked non-denominational but it was hard to tell. They were having trouble figuring out where my car was. After a brief conversation, they let me enter The Holy Land Experience. Well, the parking lot at least. I was so close to the Holy Land! I could see it, but $35 stood between me and salvation. That’s how much it costs to enter The Holy Land Experience, unless you have a $2-off coupon from some Orlando “guide book,” then it only costs $33! And if Christians are anything, they are kind. Purchasing a ticket entitles you to an additional 7 days to visit for FREE. Assuming you want to visit the Holy Land at least twice in 8 days, that is a fantastic deal. After purchasing my slightly discounted ticket and

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