Personal Narrative: Endometriosis

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Determination to Win It would be fair to assume after years of debilitating pain and unanswered questions, a diagnosis would have been a relief for me to hear. I would finally know exactly what had been causing this suffering and how I could make myself better. At last I could prove to my family, friends and those patronising health professionals that my symptoms had been real and for all these years, I had truly been suffering. Relief is not, however, something I felt in that moment. In reality, my world fell apart as I heard my diagnosis; endometriosis. Before the operation I had thoroughly researched the condition. I could relate with many of the symptoms described by sufferers; the chronic pain, constantly feeling exhausted and painful…show more content…
My fight had gone. My mood would depend on how severe my pain was for that day. My ability to be a good mother was controlled by how aggressive my symptoms were in that moment. I was overwhelmed with guilt that I could not spend my days having fun with my children. I hated myself every time I had to tell them mummy was too tired to play in the garden or to tackle the walk to the nearest park. I knew they would grow up to hate this condition as much as I did but I felt helpless to change our situation. In the year that followed the diagnosis, I allowed the endometriosis to take over my life, slowly destroying every aspect. I had previously achieved a successful career in banking. After ten years of hard work and tears, working my way up from the bottom of the career ladder with no real qualifications, juggling nurseries, schools and child minders, missing sports days and Christmas productions, I had finally achieved an incredible position and I was truly proud to be a Branch Manager. Now my career had simply become another victim of the endometriosis and was torn away from…show more content…
I sat in a small office with a specialist and poured my heart and soul out to her. I trusted her with my inner most thoughts. I explained I did not want to live like this any longer; I could not live like this any longer. I told her if it was not for my two children I would have given up already. I would not be sat in that room because this fight everyday of my life is just too much to face. I begged her to make me better. I pleaded for us to try a new treatment, to get a third and fourth opinion from other doctors. The pain and frustration that I had bottled up for all those months poured out of me. My tears were uncontrollable. The endometriosis had torn me to pieces and I sat there completely shattered and desperate for somebody to help me. There was little help available. The consultant showed the same lack of empathy I had faced with my family and friends. I was advised this pain was now a part of my life and to move on I would need to learn to live with it. Suddenly my desperation switched to anger. I left the office furious somebody could be so heartless and insensitive to my pain. I spent the rest of the day planning letters of complaint and researching alternative treatments, specialist centres and how to get a second

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