Increasing Intimacy In Relationships

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Vincent Barraza Mr. Herrera Christian Lifestyles April 8, 2008 Increasing Intimacy in Relationships as Taught in Chapter 4 Through the study of intimacy we see that all long-term, lasting relationships have to have to display it at one point in time. Along with passion and commitment, intimacy is the third and final pillar supporting consummate love as studied and taught by Dr. Robert Sternberg. The text describes intimacy as “deep loving closeness that usually involves sharing what is most personal and private” (McCarty 66), and from here, one can see how this is a very important to a lasting, long-term relationship. Mutual self-disclosure plays a huge part in developing intimacy in any relationship. As one shares more and more personal thoughts, experiences, and anything else with another person, they either get rejected, or accepted. This acceptance leads to further mutual self-disclosure and a deeper level of intimacy growing in the relationship. “Intimacy is a spiritual connection – a shared inner closeness. Feelings and physical affection may enhance intimacy, but intimacy itself is much deeper. It includes what affection means and the reasons behind our gestures and emotions. That’s why although there may be intimate physical contact, without personal intimacy there can be no real physical intimacy” (McCarty 67). As the text states, there are different aspects of intimacy, and even as one may promote another at certain times, at other times there is nothing that can hurt the relationship worse. Analysis of the quote above shows how “without personal intimacy there can be no real physical intimacy” (McCarty 67). In this kind of relationship, “physical intimacy”, or at least what the people in the relationship is physical intimacy is just sex. Reversely though, sex can be a huge boost to intimacy. If a couple is personally intimate already, sex may be
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