Pet Peeve Essay

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My mom hates when people don’t RSVP. My sister cannot stand when someone else’s feet touch her. A friend of mine literally gets hives when she sees people dressed up and she doesn’t know where they’re going. We all have pet peeves. For some, it’s loud eating or long fingernails; for others, it’s a biker that won’t get out of the middle of the freaking road. Whatever it is, the peeve really gets us going. We all have pet peeves. Want to know mine? No? I’m going to tell you anyway. Let me paint you a little picture… I’m at the mall. I see J. Crew at the top of the escalator (why, at every shopping center, is J.Crew always right at the top of the escalator like a beautiful shining beacon of overpriced clothing?) Of course, I hop on the escalator with every intention of spending money I don’t have on another shimmery skinny belt and blinding neon cardigan. I’m behind a fellow shopper on the escalator, let’s call him Bill. I politely give Bill two stairs of room so that my face isn’t in his butt, because I understand the shopper’s code of conduct that demands ample escalator butt space. We approach the end of the escalator. Bill steps off. Bill stands there, contemplating. Should he go left to Ann Taylor, or right to Forever 21? (It doesn’t matter, Bill, neither of those stores sell clothes for you.) Does Bill understand that I have to get off this escalator, I wonder? It’s moving, Bill, I have no choice! You pretty much have a four second window before this contraption propels me off of it and I mow you down. Move, Bill, pick a direction! Ann Taylor or Forever 21, Bill, they’re very different stores! Make a decision, Bill, GET OUT OF MY WAY! I’m getting myself worked up, and here’s why: there is a very easy solution to all of man’s escalator problems. If Bill had thought about his final destination before hopping on the escalator in the first place, we could all

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