In “the House of Mirth”, Is Lawrence Selden the Friend Lily Bart Needs?

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In “The House of Mirth”, is Lawrence Selden the friend Lily Bart needs? By Harlan Epstein Lawrence Selden is one of the most complex characters in Edith Wharton’s “The House of Mirth”. While at some points he seems to be the only person who understands Lily, at others we become frustrated with him and his oblivion to the reality of the situation. Selden takes on many roles in Lily’s life, but are these positive or negative? Is he, as Lily seems to think, her saviour, the only one who can help her out of this existence she has been forced into? Or is he just as blind as everyone else; too in love with an idea of her to see her as she really is? One of Selden’s main role in the novel, both towards Lily and in general towards the society she is a part of, is that of onlooker. Our first sight of Selden is of him looking on at Lily Bart, as is our last. The first conversation they have is packed with free indirect discourse, but only Selden’s, as he watches Lily and comments on her in his head. Throughout the book, it seems, he prides himself on being just outside the spotlight, always on the side-lines. Lily expresses that she wants “a friend who won't be afraid to say disagreeable [things] when I need them”, and he is definitely that friend, but is that what she really needs? What Miss Bart, never going anywhere but down, needs is a friend (expressly a male friend) who does and helps her to do. His inactiveness is best expressed in one of his most memorable lines to Lily: “The only way I can help you is by loving you.” It’s a great line, and Selden is very pretty in speech, but it is also a great untruth, and one that shows how unhelpful he is in Lily’s life. And it seems to rub off on her: One of the factors ultimately leading to Lily’s downfall is her own passivity: Her unwillingness to use Bertha Dorset’s letters, her declining to marry Rosedale, these things

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