Homeless Powered Cars

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Cars are a fantastic invention. They make our first-world lives even more carefree by getting us from place to place quickly while eradicating the need for legs altogether. Instead of walking that two blocks to spend seventeen dollars at Chic-Fil-A, why not drive there? You get there faster and can start eating sooner; it is a lot easier to shove those Spicy Chicken Deluxe sandwiches down your throat behind the wheel of your car than while walking down the sidewalk. There is no doubt that the benefits of driving from place to place are great. However, all that driving takes an awful lot of fuel, and everyone knows that fuel for cars isn’t the most plentiful of resources. The gasoline that keeps your vehicle running smoothly is supplied from petroleum, also known as crude oil that is pumped out of the ground. This crude oil, in turn, is created by the transformation of long-dead plant and marine animal fossils. These fossils are under immense pressure and heat for hundreds of thousands of years, and the result is a dark and waxy substance known as kerogen. These kerogen molecules then eventually break down into petroleum or natural gas and are pumped into your gas tank. That’s right: you are cruising around town with no aim or purpose, and your car is running off of a limited supply of dead fish souls. An expensive limited supply of dead fish souls. If only there was a way to supply the population with a cheaper, more plentiful alternative to gasoline that is so desperately needed. Homeless people are rich in natural oils. The absence of showers ensures that the street dwellers will not be ridding themselves of their daily, natural human secretions that the rest of us rinse off every night and day. How do we reach these oils? When we shower the precious secretions are mixed into a useless batch containing water and soap, and that is no

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