Chinese parents aren’t. They assume strength, not fragility, and as a result they behave very differently.” (pg 412) The issue with the idea in this passage is that Eastern parents do not realize that children are not born with a strong confidence in everything that they do. Confidence and feelings of competence and ability must be instilled in a child through praise and reassurance. If a child is “assumed” to be strong enough to withstand extreme expectations, pressure, and harsh critique at th hands of their parents, they will
There are distinct differences between the Chinese culture parenting style and the Western, but the key commonality is that both parents desire the success for their child’s future. Chua, starts her article by addressing the most common question. “How Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids?”(Chau1). Her answer is quite simple: most of the things that other children are allowed to do, hers were not. Take playing an instrument for an example.
Amy Chua has one statement that she uses “Chinese parents demand perfect grades because they believe that their child can get them” (p. 3 l 26) later in the article she add “Chinese parents can order their kids to get straight As… western parents can only ask their kids to they their best” (P 1, l 44). When she says that she indirectly means that Chinese parents are tougher than western parents. They don’t believe in their children, like Chinese parents do. They should rather make their child fell ashamed by using punishment, instead of always being careful and positive. Amy Chua gives a great example of the contrast between the cultures, she tell her readers how Chinese parents and western parents would react if their kid came home with an A minus “ the Chinese parent would gasp in horror and ask what went wrong” (p. 3 l 2) “A western parent would support and praise the child.” Later in the article Amy Chua comes with one of her statements, again“if a Chinese child gets a B – which would never happen” (p 3, l 21).
But some people choose to not belong, that leads to being alienated or excluded from a group. In particular groups or sub groups within society, there are rules that are other written or simply know by members of the group. Usually, it is accepted that to be a member of these particular groups, you will adhere to the rule, in other words, you will conform. You must do this in order to being. Individuals who challenge these rules and fail to conform are generally dealt with in two ways – They are in danger of becoming alienated from the group or the group might accept the changes and broaden their rules.
For Chinese, children or youngsters’ decisions should be taken parents’ considerations. And Chinese parents regard it as their responsibility to look after their children’s study and life. Privacy Americans respect others’ privacy. For example, they seldom talk about their pretty close topics in their chatting, such as ages, incomes or marriage. However, these topics are general in China.
Far from knowing Chinese culture and without the awareness to know, the mother generation is alien and ridiculous to them. June considers her mother and Auntie Am-mei’s dress as “too fancy for real Chinese people and too strange for American parties”, and she even imagined Joy Luck “was a shameful Chinese custom, like the secret gathering of the Ku Klux Kan or the tom-tom dancers of TV Indians preparing for war. (Tan 28)” The daughter is not only ignorant to Chinese culture, but also initiatively wants to get rid
The daughters disagree and believe divorce is ok. The Mothers belief stems from old Chinese culture while the daughters belief stems from American culture where divorces are very common. Another chinese belief the mothers believe that every women should be married. That conflicts with the american belief that a woman is not required to get married, this creates conflict among the daughters. The daughters of the members of the joy luck club grow up struggling to balance
As an adult, Wong realizes that she had lost an opportunity to become a more complete Individual when she let go Chinese identity. Part 2: Reaction In “The Struggle to Be an All-American Girl.” Wong talks about her cultural experience. It is sad that she denied her Chinese culture and missed the chance to have a mixed culture. She refused to accept her Chinese origins, which her family was intent on keeping. Chinese culture has a long history, and to inherit one’s culture is valuable; Wong should have cherished it.
Alongside the sense of personal identity humans also have a very evident urge to belong to a group that share similar aspects on oneself and life. These out looks can be either positive or negative. People who have a strong sense of belonging usually have a strong sense of personal identity giving them comfort which allows them to express themselves. However sometimes individuals feel out casted and isolated from others due to their upbringing and lifestyle and find it difficult to experience a sense of personal identity and therefore also belonging. Belonging and being accepted into a group can have both negative and positive effects on an individual’s sense of personal identity.
I will go further into this topic later in my essay. In my writing I will use Amy Chua as an example of the tiger mother. She described in detail how had she been raising her two daughters and, most importantly, why had she been bringing up them in such a way. Some of the rules which she imposed on her daughters seem to be ridiculous (e.g. they were not allowed to attend a sleepover, watch television, play computer games, choose their own extracurricular activities).