Luna Williams English 100 02/10/2014 Just Whom is This Divorce “Good” For? Divorce is a huge topic a lot of parents think about when they feel that there spouse is no longer compatible with them and also the fact that it’s not working out for reason only they will know. It may just be the fact that two people that were deeply in love just feel out of it because of no connection anymore. In the article “Just Whom Is This Divorce” Good” For? Written by Elizabeth Marquart talks about how divorce can cause children even from a good divorce go through it there selves when they get older, children also feel that they are to blame for their parents getting divorced and they lose all interest for other things, there is also a lot of controversy about which parent gets which day can just lead up to a huge custody battle for most.
Children whose parents divorce will be more likely to be isolated and antisocial than sociable and integrate. If there is no contact with one of the parents, the child misses out on that parent’s knowledge and skills. This is a big loss to the child especially if the only parent in their life has a serious lack in parental
If a child experiences an event in his life such as a death or a serious illness, he will often find it very difficult to feel in control of his emotions. Many children will be profoundly affected by their parents separating or divorcing. The child will probably be very attached to both adults and will possibly be put under pressure to choose which parent, in their eyes, they love the most. A child in a situation of family break-up will often find trust very difficult to re-form. Occasionally, children will hear stories about “...what dad did...” or “...what mum said...” These situations could make the child appear to be distant or aloof from the outside and that they are indifferent to events.
Children’s friendship with others help them develop their emotional understanding, interaction, empathy and social skills. Children who lack friends tend to feel isolated, suffer insecurities and usually withdraw themselves more. They may struggle to communicate, share and understand the needs and feelings of others. As they grow older the insecurities may lead to self-hate and self-harm. They will also lack people to confide in or go to for advice Child neglect, often overlooked, is the most common form of child maltreatment.
It can affect the child in many ways as they can become nervous and anxious resulting in them becoming withdrawn and have a lack of confidence at the thought of a new school, they may be leaving close friendship groups making them upset and feeling alone. Most children will experience a new baby in the family. Younger children may find this difficult as they will still be used to having all of the attention and not understand why the family set up has changed, this could lead them to reverting back to baby ways themselves, have tantrums, be unkind to the new baby or become clingy. An older child may feel left out and become withdrawn and feel in the way, which could result in them not feeling a part of the new family. They may endure sleepless nights and loose sleep making them tired and unable to concentrate when at school.
1:2 Describe with examples how different aspects of development can affect one another. Example 1: Separation/Divorce When a couple is getting divorce or separated with young children this can affect their behaviour patterns for example by getting into trouble with police or in school which will give them the attention they need while they may not be getting as much with the parents concentrating on their situation. This can cause various things in the child such as not eating due to the stress and anxiety caused by what will happen to their family home due to moving to new school or just being in a single parent family which can be a big change. It can be much more of a factor for a young person when it becomes general knowledge in their friendship circle. Other disadvantages from this situation can be that sometimes a single parent can’t afford expensive holidays which would make the child feel left out when they are talking about events when after coming back from their holidays and are asked to write or tell about what happened during the school holidays.
This is more harmful to the child’s wellbeing on many different levels. Children experience the same feelings associated with divorce that adults do, they feel a loss and grief for the parent that is no longer there on a daily basis. The attachment that they had to the parent prior to the divorce has been forever changed. Some research shows that the quality of relationship between parent and child deteriorates and that the effects last until adulthood (Bouchard & Doucet, 2011). More recently laws have begun to change due to the research that shows children benefit from having both parents involved in their parenting.
There are many different reasons to why children may be taken away to be looked after away from their families. The following reasons are: • Bereavement- this is the death of a parent which then results in the child having nobody to care for the child. Bereavement can cause the family to be dysfunctional, causing the family unable to function properly which will then put pressure on the family and causing the child to either optionally become a looked after child or a care order out in place. Bereavement can put a lot of stress on a family and commonly stress and responsibility do not work well together. • Parental illness- if the parent becomes too ill to look and care for the child then the child may either be optionally put into care or a care order put in place to remove the child.
It also affects the relationship with other family members. Kids often distance themselves from everyone and do not include themselves in family activities. They feel no one could possible understand what they are going through. When it comes down to a relationship with the opposite sex, trust is often a big issue. Children many times also seek out a significant other that reminds them of their incarcerated parent to fill that void.
Everyone hates that one sibling who cries for the most stupidest reasons. Sometimes at the very least, people even go to the extreme calling them depressed. However, most of the time this concept is entirely overlooked. Depression is more of a mental illness rather than a physical anguish. For instance, not getting the toy you wanted and getting mad at your parents is ultimately different then what happens when you’re dealing with family problems such as divorce.