Roman Love V Pragmatic: a Cross Cultural Look at Courtship and Marriage

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Roman Love v Pragmatic: A Cross Cultural Look at Courtship and Marriage Cultural Anthropology 101 I They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake – Alexander Pope There is an old adage that cautions “you cannot see the forest through the trees,” this is especially true from an anthropological stand point. Human nature has us looking at the world through lenses that are colored by own native culture and beliefs no matter how hard we try to be unbiased and objective. This belief that one’s way of life, culture, or belief system is superior to another’s is called ethnocentricity (Crapo, 2013). Simply, it what we know, how we have been raised, and what we believe in. It is our reality. Stepping out of one’s own culture and into someone else’s in an effort to gain a better understanding is known as cultural relativism (Crapo, 2013). This process is invaluable because it helps us to combat our own innate or built in ethnocentric bias. When looking at any belief, culture, ritual or ceremony it is important to remember what noted anthropologist Horace Miner said “Most cultures exhibit a particular configuration or style” (Miner, 1956). If we learn to look at another’s culture as their own particular style, it is easier to be objective, and less judgmental. Understanding the motives and purpose associated with behaviors, rituals, and beliefs of another culture is different than passing judgment and requires neither agreement nor disagreement. In an effort to gain a better understanding about differing marital practices for the purpose of this paper I will be looking at India’s arranged or pragmatic beliefs towards marriage from an emic or insiders point of view. Following the same vein, I will look at my own western belief system of romantic love from an etic or outsiders point of view. From the moment of inception until we are
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