After Making Love

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“After Making Love” by Stephen Dunn What does it mean to see something of one’s own “with an intruder’s eyes” (line 15)? Considering the title, what does the poem imply about the relationship between love and honesty? Stephen Dunn’s poem “After Making Love” is a genuine and honest look at the past that lies behind lovers. Dunn begins by addressing the “strange loneliness of the present” one feels “after making love”. As Sarah Bouchard said, the fact that the moments after sex are described as a “strange loneliness” is an indication of the emotional distance felt, where one would usually associate sex with an emotional and physical connectedness. By stating that no one should ask “What were you thinking?” unless they “want to hear about the past / and its inhabitants”, the narrator is saying that both partners have had past loves and, even after making love, the remnants of those past relationships remain. Those partners who ask the other “What were you thinking?” have never, as Dunn so eloquently states, “seen with an intruder’s eye / what is theirs”. This closing statement is one that really stays with the reader. An “intruder’s eye” is another way of saying “to look at it from another’s perspective”. To call the other’s perspective intrusive is to say that the thoughts and memories they are seeing or hearing are private and, perhaps, ones that even the owner does not wish to think about. Considering the title “After Making Love”, the poem expresses the belief that love and honesty are two cohesive factors in a relationship. The term “making love” is one of tenderness and compassion. The poet did not say “having sex”, “hooking up” or “screwing”. He used the term love because that is what is felt. Despite this love, there will be facets of your partner’s past that you will not really wish to understand, just as you do not wish for them to know
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