Review of Why Don’t We Listen Better? Communicating and Connecting in Relationships
Shawn C. Adolphus
Dr. Peterson wrote Why We Don’t listen better to reach all people that wish to communicate better. He drew experiences’from his many years of experience as a Minister and a Professional counselor to formulate the content of the book. He even used experiences’ that he gained from his close family life, so that readers will realize that he grew up just like any one of us. The book is broken down into five parts that take the reader through the reasoning behind his teaching and eventually to the tools that one can use to practice great listening skills. Part one of the books starts by talking about the importance of communication and some of the symptoms of the person that is not listening. Most of the time when we stop listening it’s because we have developed what Dr. Peterson calls the “Flat-brain” (p.10). This describes how emotions and one’s own thought process can get in the way of actually listening to another person. He goes on to describe different versions of the flat brain and the scenarios that being flat brained can cause. Such as the “Flat-Brain Tango” (p. 33). This is what happens when an emotionally charged person draws a level headed person into being flat-brained, by engaging in conversation that causes the level headed person to get on the defense. Part one is concluded with showing us reasons that one may get caught in the tango, and shows us some ways to get out of the tango. He even provides a small poem at the end of the section (p.45) to use as a tool when we go forward with new listening techniques. In part two of the text Dr. Peterson breaks down some very good communication techniques. The most important tool that he introduced us to is a Talker-Listener Card (TLC) (p. 51). The card shows how to talk to get your point across without attacking or accusing. It breaks down what a talkers goal are and defines...