Guilty For College

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even people with the most decent life can still feel emotions. everyone can get sad sometimes. i dont even know whats wrong with me if im completely honest i absolutely hate change. even the thought of it makes me feel sick. i knew starting college would be hard but i totally underestimated how hard exactly. even weeks before i started college, i felt sick with nerves. i couldnt sleep and had to have sleeping tablets to help me sleep. i literally worry about the most stupid things, but i work myself up. because of the subjects i chose for college, i have a completely different timetable and classes to all my friends so ive had to make new friends in all my classes, which obvs i dont mind. but some classes are more social than others.…show more content…
Growing up, parents are the ones that enforce these lessons to their offspring. Depending on the type of parent one has, the results of one’s upbringings can change. It is safe to say I had a very good childhood. Growing up and I had been told about both of my parent’s childhood and in many ways I felt guilty for how good my life was, although the intention was not to make me feel bad, but more so to help me understand and appreciate how good my life was. My father was born in El Salvador and grew up in a very poor and small village. My mother grew up in a very low-income part of Los Angeles and was the oldest of five siblings at the time and had to deal with my grandmother who was an alcoholic single mother. I loved both of my parents very much and appreciated how well they raised me, because when my parents had me the only goal they had was to make sure I had a life that was different from the both of them. Throughout my life, the main goal I had was to make sure I made both of my parents…show more content…
After that, it was easier to tell other friends and I had so much support from them however; the most important people in my life, which were my parents and family, still did not know and I was afraid to tell them. By this point I had developed a pretty big fan base online and people looked up to me. Knowing people had struggled with the same struggles I did made me decide to take this to another level. I created a YouTube channel so that I could post videos on random topics. One of my videos that caught a lot of people’s attention was a video I made on cyber-bullying. Like myself, many teenagers had gone through some sort of cyber-bullying and I wanted to address that it happens to many people and that it should not affect them. After a while, I started to gain popularity on the Internet. Going into college for me was a huge step for my family and me. Both my parents had said they were proud of me and I was living up to both of their expectations and it made me feel good inside knowing I was making them proud. Although I knew that if I came out to them, they would react in a negative way. So I decided to keep that part of my life a secret from them. I got a job on campus and I started to make new friends. This time around I let everyone know I was gay and that I was proud of it. Months went by and I made new friends and went on a few dates, which was also
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