Theme of the Unbearable Lightness of Being

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Theme It’s a widely debated topic: can sex and love ever be disjointed? While both sides of the argument have presented their cases convincingly, the novel The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera suggests that sex and affection, whether romantic or otherwise, cannot and should not be separated. Firstly, Kundera shows that despite what he asserts, Tomas’s sexual involvement with Sabina is shown as being in addition to an emotional relationship. Tomas claims that his affairs are purely for the sex and that he does not love the women he sleeps with, but his relationship with Sabina clearly shows otherwise. Tomas and Sabina have known each other for years. She is described as being his “long term mistress,” and they have an intellectual relationship that is not completely disconnected from their sex life (Kundera 10). Sabina is the “woman who understands him best,” and “he had never had a better friend than Sabina” (12-13). While Tomas truly believes that he is able to keep feelings of love separate from his involvement with Sabina, time and again the author establishes and emphasizes the friendship between the two lovers. The two share experiences and fond memories that further prove the relationship of love. They are not purely having sex and nothing else; their sexual experiences are littered with emotional connections and shared interests. When Sabina meets Tomas wearing “nothing but panties and bra. And a black bowler hat,” he stands “staring, mute and motionless…[realizing] how touched he was” (28). Tomas and Sabina have an unspoken connection that establishes itself emotionally as well as physically. Despite what Tomas says, he has an affectionate relationship with Sabina that lends itself to more than just sex, and there is a love felt between the two characters. Tomas finds himself unable to break off his affair with Sabina even
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