My Childhood Was Robbed

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My Childhood Was Robbed Where do I start … I have never told this story to any except my Aunt Brenda about the sexual abuse I have endured as a child. I am sure, that compared to some, it is not “as bad.” To me, it was horrible. It is still with me to this day. If anyone that knows me reads this, I would say to them, “This is my life story; this is who I am and why I am the way I am.” My step-dad was the abuser. I know that I have repressed memories; but I don’t like to remember them, I do sometimes and when I do it only makes me stronger and strives to love more (my family). One of my earliest and most painful was one day when my mom would go to work (the abuse would only happened when she went to work). I was about ten when it all started; my sisters and I never were allowed to go outside and play with our friends or even visit our family, it was only on the weekends that we would see our grandparents. We always had to stay in our rooms for no reason. My mom worked Monday thru Saturdays. As soon as my mother would leave for work, he would ask me to rub his feet or his back for hours; I didn’t think anything of it I just wanted to come out of my room to watch T.V. at least, while my other sisters would be in their room, we all had separate rooms. He made me undress and then told me to sit on him. I was afraid and was told to never tell. It felt like he was touching me for hours, it was horrible. He kept rubbing my vagina, and asking me does this feel good, hell I was nine still a virgin. I didn’t know what to expect. I suppose if I had said yes, it made it seem (to him) that he wasn’t doing anything wrong. To this day (April 11, 2014) my mother doesn’t know and if she does, she never said anything to me about it. I felt like it was my entire fault, but now that I’m older I know different. After several episodes, I ran away from home built up enough confidence
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