Getting Older Essay

810 Words4 Pages
The clock is ticking my life away quietly. I should be rushing, grasping, trying to make the most of the time I have left before it’s gone. Instead, I’m watching it. Watching it slowly disappear. It’s my birthday tomorrow. Tomorrow, I turn twenty. In my mind I am still sixteen, but that doesn’t count for anything. It’s just in my mind. And tomorrow, the word teen will be erased forever from my age. Tomorrow I die. I die to the teenage world, the world of friends and secrets, of learning and decisions, of raw, earthy feeling, of fresh eagerness. I don’t want to cross the bridge from our world to theirs. I have nothing in common with adults. I don’t want to be one of them. I’m clawing on to these last precious seconds with all the strength I can muster, but they’re slipping, sliding, like fingernails dragging across a blackboard. I’m helpless. Tired. That’s what adults are. Tired. Nothing is new for them. There’s nothing to learn now. What you’ve built up in your youth is what you’ll have forevermore. If you didn’t do it then, you certainly won’t do it now. An old dog doesn’t learn new tricks. They try to fool themselves with clever phrases like, “You’re only as young as you feel”. But we, the young, know it’s not true. Feeling and mindsets have nothing to do with it. A grownup trying to act like a teenager is not young at heart, but sick. Repulsive. We try to be nice and not let it show, and make an effort to include them once in a while. But we share a secret world they shall never again be a part of, no matter how hard they try. It’s too late. I won’t fool myself. Adults aren’t accepted in our world, just as within moments I won’t be accepted in mine...theirs. The adults look at me and inwardly they think, what an idiot. What wouldn’t I give to be her age right now. What an immature, over-dramatic moron. “Twenty, kid. You’re just turning twenty! You have
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