Dress Code Satirical Essay

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School Dress Codes. One of the most enforced school policies of all time. Everyone has an opinion about what is too short, what is too long, what is too low, what is too high, what is too tight, and what is too loose. According to schools, middle school girls are all indecent. Because of this, there are very specific rules about what us girls can and cannot wear. “Skirts, dresses and shorts cannot be more than 2 inches above the knee.” So we can only wear long shorts? Is it just me or does that sound like an oxymoron? Wouldn’t long shorts be pants? “All pants and shorts must be worn on the waist.” Would I be punished for wearing my pants above my waist? What if I want to wear my pants around my chest? That’s a nerd style. Nerds are usually pretty smart. Are the schools now frowning upon smart people doing well in school? What about Steve Erkel? Would he be punished for wearing his pants too high? “All tops should cover the top of shoulders and cover the entire body.” It’s a good thing they don’t allow us to show our shoulders. Shoulder showing could really get crazy. I mean, us kids get so turned on by shoulders, who knows what would happen if we all walked around with bare shoulders all day. Also, since when does a shirt cover your entire body? I have never seen a head to toe shirt, unless you include burkas and those ghost Halloween costumes made from cheap sheets. I’ve been violating the dress code for two years, wearing shirts that only cover my torso, without even knowing it. How silly of me! I should have realized our public schools run by the United States government that believes in Separation of Church and State would want us to wear burkas to school. What about that rule stating no head coverings are permitted in school excluding religious reasons? A burka would cover my head and I’m not Muslim. How can I wear a shirt that covers my whole body, while not

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