Why Does He Love to Lecture Me so Much?

4063 Words17 Pages
Why Does He Love to Lecture Me So Much? The misunderstanding in a conversation between men and women has gone to a complicated stage, where misleading linguistic habits in communication seemingly unnoticeable but potentially cause high consequences that can damage badly a relationship. According to Huffington Posts about marriage section, a famous website that discusses family, the number one reason for divorce in America is due to communication breakdown between a couple; furthermore, it also result more subsequent negative affects both physically and mentally for the individuals. Deborah Tannen, an American academic and professor of linguistics at Georgetown University in Washington, D.C, seems to also recognize this issue is severe. She is the author of many famous books about relationship and communication, yet her “You Just Don’t Understand” book demonstrates most significant aspects about this issue. Especially of the chapter 5: “Lecturing vs. Listening”, Tannen indicates how men and women have certain different patterns to approach and serve a conversation. Women, tired of being lecturing by men, are now striking against men to blame them as the primary cause to women’s pressure, confusion, and anxiety. On the other hand, men claim to validate their right to conduct a conversation the way they want because they think women are likely the one who talks more, are repetitive, and offer less important topics. In the end, all argues are made by both sides turn out to be true in different aspects; neither side is absolute right or wrong. Not only women find it difficult to process a conversation with different gender, men sometimes encounter that problem also. Every problem has its own solutions, so does this separation; what these people are lacking of is the wider view of the whole picture, and the patience to analyze the validation of the communication they
Open Document