Who's In Control Chapter Summary

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I read the book “Who’s in Control: Dr. Balter’s Guide to discipline without combat” by Dr Lawrence Balter. He begins the book by discussing various parenting styles over the years. He discusses theories of ‘Sparing the rod and Spoiling the child’ and of training children as one would a pet. Regular beatings used to be a way of controlling children until psychoanalysis grew in popularity and was many times misunderstood, setting no limits on children and giving children free reign. Both parenting styles produced unhappy and un-self disciplined children. Dr. Balter believes that good discipline lies somewhere in between. Corporal punishment is never good for children resulting in fear, low self esteem and withdrawal. Setting limits, being consistent and…show more content…
Toilet training and more control over food choices, toys and clothing leads to a feeling of control and a sense of independence in children making them feel secure and confident. Children who do not develop this are left with a sense of inadequacy and self doubt. The next stage, Initiative versus guilt focuses on the preschool years when children begin to assert their power and control over the world through directing play and other social interaction. This stage builds confidence and those who are successful feel capable and able to lead others versus those who fail to acquire these skills and are left with a sense of guilt, self doubt and a lack of initiative. The fourth stage, Industry versus Inferiority covers the grade school years from about age’s five to eleven. In this stage children begin to develop a sense of pride in their accomplishments and abilities through social interaction. Praise and encouragement from parents and teachers help them develop a feeling of competence and belief in themselves rather than children who doubt their

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