Who Knows Essay

645 Words3 Pages
For over a decade, Amazon.com has been a leading retailer in the online industry. Amazon has continued to grow larger and larger and becomes more and more [Redundancy, consider "more" or "often."] [Wordiness: doubling a word like this can be effective in speech but is less intensive in writing] user friendly to its customers. Amazon has stayed on the competitive edge with larger corporations such as Google and Microsoft by incorporating various tools to address consumer’s needs and desires. They have also partnered with other corporations to ensure they stay on the competitive edge; a relationship that has proven beneficial for both. c It’s been a rough set back on companies due to the economic hardship that this country is facing, but that doesn’t put a stop to their dedication to being [Clearer writing suggestion: If not a noun (as in "human being"), the word "Being" is hard to imagine; it means "existing." Try to rewrite this without using "being"--with words like "attending," "working," "living," "experiencing," sometimes simply "as"--or even simply removing "being"] the company on top. Companies such as Amazon, Google, and Microsoft all have a common desire, and that is to be better than the next corporation. Amazon may strive to get ["get" is informal English and can mean many things; in academic writing, use forms of "arrive at," "can," "could", "grows," "is able to," etc.] the most hits, or Google has their sponsored links feature, which benefits both the vendor and Google. Certain companies are given [Passive voice] these sponsored links because of revenue given to the search engines who will advertise their products first. Amazon tracks cookies with the companies that pay them to advertise their merchandise, and they use this to set up a certain profile and target you [Eliminate second person (you, your) in academic
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