Who Am I Essay

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Who Am I Small talk. Some people can do it effortlessly. For others, like me, these two words alone conjure up pictures of embarrassing and unsuccessful attempts at doing what seems to be an easy task. A significant part of my childhood has been spent with me wondering why I was, essentially, not like everyone else. Through the years, I have learned a great deal about myself, which has shaped the way I perceive myself and others perceive me. When I was younger, I always tried hard at making conversation, but it never felt natural. I always felt as if I was forcing myself to be more talkative and outgoing, when inwardly, I knew I enjoyed quiet and alone time more than anything else. Invariably, my communication style would consist of me wanting to converse with my peers, but never having anything interesting to say or not knowing how to carry a conversation beyond the usual greetings. I was acutely aware of this fact, which made me feel self-conscious and scared to talk. I remember my friends calling me boring and too quiet, and telling me that I needed to be more opened. One day, in class, we got to take at personality test, the Myers & Briggs test, and all of the sudden a lot of things about me made sense. According to the test, I was Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging. Most importantly, the test highlighted one aspect of communication that resonated true with me: people like me were looking for conversations with depth, and we could be quite vocal about subjects that mattered to us; however, mundane conversations were highly uninteresting to us, hence why we tended to shy away from making small talk. The test also discussed the fact that we were extremely private, not likely to self-disclose, especially to people whom we did not feel a connection to. It was a relief to know that I was normal, just different, and that most people would not “get me”.

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