Unspoken Rules Essay

309 Words2 Pages
Belonging is the total acceptance of a group ethic whatever it may be. To "belong" means to go along with unspoken rules of conformity regarding dress codes, how you talk, where you go to school, and whatever prejudices the group may hold. One cannot feel that great sense of belonging until those unspoken rules, the tacit codes, of the group are fully understood. We all know that ugly feeling of not belonging when, the circumstances of life have forced you to join in another group, be it a family, or a new class, a new religious group, etc., and you have no clue what the codes of this group are. You may say something to somebody in that group that you would otherwise think was thoughtful but to that group was extremely insulting. Even such a small misunderstanding would lead to that sense of segregation. If the rules and customs that all the other members of this group are fully aware of must be spelled out for you, no amount of self reasoning or preparation can skirt the fact that you are indeed missing something. In some places it is customary to kindly greet every person whom you are casually passing in walking. The stranger who walks by and does not greet anybody when walking by is frowned upon by his fellows and scorned at. This stranger could, in reality, be a newcomer from a big city where hardly anybody knows everyone else they pass on the street and such customs were unheard of. This stranger doesn’t have that sense of belonging at this place because he doesn’t know of unspoken rules such as greeting people. Unspoken rules must be understood in order to have that sense of belonging. Otherwise, you an outsider, you can’t yet identify with that group and you don’t
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