The examples provided in the text illustrate just how easy it is to be redundant and not realize it. For example, phrases such as “absolutely essential “or “a total of 68 participants” are errors regularly committed on my part. Being able to identify redundancy will be a focus as I work towards more clear and concise writing. As a commitment to reducing bias in writing, the rule I will remember is “recognizing that differences should be mentioned only when relevant” (p. 71). I did not realize how easy it is to unintentionally use bias language.
Critiquing an Essay with George Orwell’s six rules In Orwell’s essay he states that it is easy to slip into the bad writing that people have become accustomed to. It is difficult to go against the temptation of using the easy way out with meaningless words or hackneyed phrases that make things easier and require less thought. Orwell concludes that the progressive decline of the English language is reversible and he offers six rules which can help avoid most of the errors in poor writing. In Brenda Chow’s essay The Writer at Work, she breaks many of the six rules that Orwell wrote to avoid the continuation of our language decline. Chow breaks the following 3 rules: never use a long word when a short one will do, never use a simile, metaphor, or other figure of speech which you are seeing in print, and never use a foreign phrase, a scientific or jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
These quotes is relevant to me that in every fault or failure I make I don’t have to be defensive about it but accept these mistakes and to use them as stepping stone to improve myself and change for the better. “Well done is better than well said.” and “Speak little, do much.” [The meaning of these words is fairly easy to understand, but they serve as an excellent reminder to us. The things that we DO for others are so much more important than the things we SAY to others. In other words: “Actions Speak Louder Than Words.” So simple… but so very important to the relationships we are trying to build every day. These quotations are very relevant to me, especially because I am a very expressive or kind of a talkative person.
When starting with others say you should except that other may not care for what you say causing controversy. It doesn’t always have to start out with a disagreement, but using other resources to start out a paper is always useful because later in the text the reader gets to see if you dis/agree with what others say. Once you have used what others have said be sure to continue it later through out the text. It reminds the reader what you are talking about and it allows you to keep track of not getting off the main subject. If you start jumping around in the text the reader won’t be able to follow along.
This piece is effective because it is full of statistics about the problem, and is stating the facts… not personal opinions so there is no way he is wrong. If he wrote it as a story in first person point of view like an experience he went through, people might not have sympathy for him, so it would not have been a good paper. Therefore putting this kind of story in third person point of view was good because he had somewhere to go with it and he could prove to people it was a real
Secondly, his points don’t support what he’s saying at all. And thirdly, I believe that this format is a great teaching tool. He could have approached this article with the same opinion that he has now, but in a much better way. At points it is unclear to what he is getting at. He seems to veer off and talk about many things instead of just one.
This is done by providing relevant & descriptive information. Another strength is the author’s gripping voice, as well as that the author writes as if he talking to the reader. On the negative side, there is only one major weakness, and its the very abrupt transitions between his topics The author isn’t taking a stance in an argument in this article; it is written with the mindset that being unconventional is good. This mindset is conveyed very well to reader by the end of the article. The data Gladwell presents is credible as it comes from primary sources such as Ranadive himself and quotes from Lawrence’s diary and other reliable sources such as the late general Maurice de Saxe.
The last three terms are also important but not always necessary. In the article “American Value Systems” by Richard D. Rieke and Malcolm O. Sillars, I found great use of the Toulmin model when understanding their argument with each individual value system. In their article they did a great job by not generalizing the American population by using the term ‘everyone’ which could possibly offend readers and having them judge from the beginning. The article speaks of six value systems but clearly states in the opening paragraphs that “broad social categories” are defined, also, both groups and individuals will be found outside of these systems or may use certain qualities of one or more value systems and combine them to create their own. The value systems defined are The Puritan-Pioneer-Peasant Value System, The Enlightenment Value System, The Progressive Value System, The Transcendental Value System, The Personal Success Value System and The Collectivist Value System.
Remember that commas are very important because they break up sentences into manageable parts. They also tell the reader where to make a slight pause to avoid confusion. Thus, make sure to use a comma whenever needed. Below are the other uses of a comma: 1. to separate items in a series: I like dancing, singing, and acting. 2. to join two independent clauses with a coordinating conjunction for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so
Always practice good grammar, punctuation, and composition. This shows that you’ve taken the time to craft your response and that you respect your classmates' work. 6. Keep in mind that threaded discussions are meant to be constructive exchanges. 7.