The Private Worlds Of Dying Children

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Review of Myra Bluebond-Langner's The Private Worlds of Dying Children 1978: published by Princeton University Press Summer 1998 by John Bartelt Editor’s Note: John, who lives in San Luis Obispo, has been a camp and retreat leader for CFRI, a moderator for CFRI’s support groups, and is now a book reviewer. CFRI appreciates the time and talents he has shared with CFRI over the last 10+ years. The Private Worlds of Dying Children is an award-winning book by anthropologist Myra Bluebond-Langner. Private Worlds is a study of awareness and communication in terminally ill (particularly end-stage) children. It reveals that these children understand their prognosis even if no one tells them, and explains why they conceal their knowledge from their own parents and medical staff. Adapted from the author’s doctoral thesis, the case study section of this work is, interestingly enough, presented in the form of a play, which takes place on a leukemia ward. Most parents will recognize the various personality types represented by the composite characters in this section. The author’s observations rapidly unfold: there are strict social rules about dying in our society. Children quickly interpret death as an inappropriate topic of conversation with adults (as evidenced by adults’ reactions when children try to discuss it), whereas other children are eager to share information about it. Like the topic of sex, terminally ill kids learn to safely discuss their prognosis where adults cannot hear them. In effect, with regard to certain topics, children are socialized to act secretively around adults and openly around their peers. Bluebond-Langner reminds us that by age three, children can understand that they have a terminal illness. She notes that all children, sick or well, from age three onward, fantasize and are concerned about dying. Her study shows that children

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