Thoughts of someone waiting for a blind date to arrive.
Entering the restaurant:
Alright 7:05, good 5 minutes late, I don’t want to seem too desperate. She’s not here yet. It’s ok; I’ll just sit down and wait until she gets here. I wonder how she looks like. I hope she’s a blonde, but then again I haven’t been dating for 3 years now, so I’m not going to be picky. Well, unless she has smelly feet, ugh that’s disgusting. Its 7:07, what if she doesn’t show up? Or what if she’s sitting at another table and I won’t know because I don’t know how she looks like. I hate blind dates! Or even worse, what if she went to La Baton Rouge, instead of The Baton Rouge! Maybe I should go there and check? Ok relax Paul, it has only been 7 minutes, she could be stuck in traffic. What if she walked in, saw me, and left? Oh no! What if she thought I was ugly! Well if she thinks that, its going to be her loss! I even went out and bought a new after shave. I smell terrific if you ask me. As a matter of fact, I’m quite a handsome guy. Any girl would be happy to have me as a boyfriend, I’m charming, sweet, funny, I smell good, and if she doesn’t come today, she’ll be missing out on a lot. She probably has smelly feet anyways. Ok a woman walked into the restaurant, she’s heading this way, and oh God she’s gorgeous! Ok she’s getting closer and closer
- Hi you must be Paul, I’m Julia. JACKPOT!
1. What did you choose to edit or leave out in your second draft? Why did you do this?
With assignments such as these, you have to write as if someone is talking, in order to make it more realistic. But unfortunately, it is harder for the reader to understand what you are trying to say. Therefore proofreading is a must. I read over this dialogue a couple of times and every time I had to change something, in order to make it more readable. By making it “readable” I’m making sure the reader is