Sex, Lies, and Conversation

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ENGL 1101 1 June 2012 Discussion of “Sex, Lies, and Conversation” by Deborah Tannen In my opinion, “Sex, Lies, and Conversation,” author Deborah Tannen is trying to convey that men and women have different communication styles. She states “Most wives want their husbands to be, first and foremost, conversational partners, but few husbands share this expectation of their wives.” I agree with Tannen on this because I have often found myself saying those exact words “Why aren’t you listening to me?” to my fiancé. This is even a repeated discussion amongst my girlfriends who also seem to feel the same way in their relationships. In my relationship, whenever my fiancé and I are having a conversation I give him my undivided attention when he’s talking; however, when I’m talking it seems as if he’s has A.D.D. (Attention Deficit Disorder). He’s constantly moving around and even on one occasion falling asleep. This behavior results in me constantly asking him, “What did I just say?” throughout our conversations. Tannen tells us that communication is what women complain about the most in their marriage. Many women feel this is because their husbands don’t listen to them giving the following examples: · Men tend to switch the subject during conversations. · Men tend to give silent attention, instead of listener-noises, such as “mhm”, “uhuh”, or “yeah.” · During conversation, men sit at angles toward the other person and look elsewhere in the room. While on the other hand, men become frustrated with a stream of listener-noises that women often give as interruption, intrusion, and lack of attention. “These differences begin to clarify why women and men have such different expectations about communication in marriage. For women, talk creates intimacy. Marriage is an orgy of closeness: you can tell your feelings and thoughts, and still be loved. For men, talk maintains
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