Self-Disclosure Essay

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Self- Disclosure, Gender, and Communication Sarah Smith Interpersonal Communications Joseph Tomassini July 11, 2011 In the assigned reading for this week “Can We Talk?” I can relate to the example of the dinner shared between the husband and wife very well. My ex-husband and I had a ten year relationship with each other and during that time we shared an abundant amount of self-disclosure. We got so comfortable around each other at one point, we could practically read each others thoughts and anticipate the other one’s next move before they even made it. Chapter seven in the book states that there is a downfall letting someone gain insight to who you are, how you think, what you believe, and what is most important to you. Sharing information about yourself makes you vulnerable. When others know you well, they have information that they might use against you in some way and you may fear being taken advantage of (Farber, 2006). I have learned that having such a close and intimate relationship with someone on so many levels feels so perfect in the moment, but when it does not work out it causes the worst emotional pain and turmoil you can imagine. Because of my previous situation, I have closed parts of myself off to others that I do not know if I will ever open back up. According to the Johari Window Model, this would be called my hidden area, the place I know but others do not. To this day, I am forthcoming with a great deal of personal information when I am comfortable enough to reveal it, but at no time, will I ever share my biggest fears again. In my book that is the absolute worst thing to have used against you. It makes you feel violated in the worst way.

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