Scott Peck "Love"

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“What provides the motive, the energy for discipline. This force I believe to be love.” Scott Peck’s biggest accomplishment in his life as a philosopher was the way he described and defined love. Peck defines love as “love thus: The will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth.” Basically what Peck means by this is that you have to be able to love yourself before you are able to love someone else. He defines love in five different categories: falling in love, romantic love, dependency love, cathexis and self-sacrifices as “false loves.” Peck is notoriously known for his definition and he states that “love is too large, too deep ever to be truly understood or measure or limited within the framework of words.” Peck says that when “we fall in love only when we are consciously or unconsciously sexually motivated. The second problem is that the experience of falling in love is invariably temporary.” To sum it up, Peck says that we fall in love accidently, and only temporarily. To “fall in love” is a false identification of “true love” because it is accidental. We don’t try to fall in love because it is impossible. In some respects (but certainly not all) the act of falling in love is an act of regression. The experience of merging with the loved one has in it echoes from the time when we were merged with our mothers in infancy. This brings up the next false identification of love: romantic love. We have grown up seeing and reading about romantic love and the myths it holds. Peck states that “the myth of romantic love is a dreadful lie” and proceeds to say that “the myth of romantic love tells is, in effect, that for every young man in the world there is a young woman who was meant for him, and vice versa.” Everyone has grown up thinking that a prince/princess charming is going to arrive on his horse and sweet them off

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