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From Touching the Void Joe and Simon are mountain-climbing in the Andes, when Joe has a terrible accident. Here are two accounts by Joe and Simon of what happened. Joe’s account Comment [K1]: Adventurous sounding / impossible title Comment [n2]: Begins in Immediatelystarting in the middle of the action. Creates sudden shock and tension grabbing the reader’s attention while mirroring the disorientation and panic he felt. Direct speech and use of personal pronoun ‘I’ makes it seem more realistic Comment [K3]: Powerful adjective and verb pair emphasise the force of the collision Comment [n4]: He was helpless, had no control of what was happening. Comment [n5]: Speed reinforce the sense of disorientation and panic Comment [n6]: Short harsh sound reinforces the impression of pain and violence Comment [n7]: Modal verb ‘could not’ suggests hopelessness. Comment [K8]: The suddenness of the ending of the paragraph mirrors the suddenness of his stop Comment [n9]: Shows that they were isolated and there was no sign of help. Sudden calm here contrasts with the intensity of the previous paragraph captivating attention Comment [n10]: Metaphor – lots of pain Comment [K11]: Repetition suggests the intensity of his pain Comment [n12]: Harsh consonants = pain. Comment [n13]: Repetition and short sentence of the monosyllabic word shows the urgency and the amount of pain he was feeling. Comment [n14]: Distorted, unreal Comment [n15]: The disconnection suggests his shock and that his realisation of the severity of the situation is only gradual – we know it’s serious creating a sort of dramatic tension as we wait for Joe to realise what we already know Comment [n16]: The paragraph break again creates tension as the previous paragraph ends hopefully with an action – only to be over powered by the metaphor of a wave of pain. Comment [n17]: Repetition of dark and other ‘terrible’ words

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