None Essay

3303 WordsFeb 6, 201214 Pages
Dear Betty, I hope all is well, it feels like such a long time since the last time I saw you. I am glad to hear that you are enjoying your new home and new life. My life on the other hand has been totally different from what I anticipated to be couple years back when everything was going well. As you know I am now fifty five years old and was looking forward to retirement, The additional responsibilities are causing me financial hardships and my dreams of stopping work early or funding a comfortable retirement have disappeared fast. I always imagined myself to be enjoying my life to the full with my dear husband at this point in my life, but here I am still grieving for him after he passed away last year. I cared for him throughout his illness and secretly hoped that he will get well again even though I knew there was hope of recovery. He suffered a long and painful illness hence I feel relieved that he has died but at the same time I feel shame and guilt over this relief. The thought of me being alive and to some extent enjoying my family and some of the pleasures in life despite all of our problems is giving me guilty feelings. The pain of missing him is almost unbearable at times but at the same time I feel angry that he has left me to deal with all these mess on my own and it feels so unfair. The grief I am feeling overwhelms me, while my family can be a source support during this difficult time, I know they won’t able to do this for a long time and recognises that professional help like counselling or mutual help group will be more useful to me and the way I am feeling. I believe such help will enable me to express my grief and anger and enhance my wellbeing. On top of this Julie and her children are struggling financially and struggling to look after my grandchildren since she is a single mother; she requires my help in looking after the children from time

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