My Reality Essay

457 Words2 Pages
My Reality She stared down at the eerie puddles of crimson blood on the linoleum floor of the hospital. The sickly substance was streaming down her legs and feet. A fresh stream of terror enveloped her. Her baby boy, whom she had seen moving around, and the beat of his heart in a sonogram just days before, was now gone. She would never see him, never hug him, never get to kiss him on the forehead and tell him Mommy loved him… Over a quarter of a year she spent so ill she could barely even get out of bed, just to have her son be embraced by Death’s arms. This was my reality. This is my reality. As a junior in high school, my life turned upside down due to pregnancy. The moment I saw those pink lines, my life was changed forever. I was all alone. My Father refused to speak to me. My mother was embarrassed of me. And I was in complete shock. For four months, I struggled to eat, and keep it down. I lost pound after pound, all the while never expecting the inevitable. In the end, my body had to choose between my life, and my son’s. I won out. Every day, I remember. I remember my pain, my bereavement, my child. For what seemed like an eternity, I secluded myself. I no longer spoke to my friends, nor did I speak to anyone else. My life was no longer worth living. All I wanted was my son. I wanted to hold him, sing him to sleep, take care of him. Once again, I felt alone. I struggled with my grief for months, and I still do. It took a long time for my soul to begin the healing process, and even longer for me to realize I was never alone. I had my boyfriend of two years, the father of my son, my mother, who strives to understand, but never will, and my best friend whom I pushed away, but grieved for me anyway. I was never a religious person. In fact, I hated God for most of my life. But I began to pray for healing, and the well-being of my son in Heaven. My faith
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