My Father Essay

403 Words2 Pages
My father, my father why do you cry? My father, my father why those thoughts of suicide? Is it I who has pushed you to this dreary dark end, where have I failed you in my role as the son of a MAN. But now to ponder would soon be a failure for I know some fault lies in my fancy behavior. My lisp, my talk, my manner of speech, my movement, my walk, my mannerisms. The way I hold my fork when I eat. The way I talk to boys on the street. In the darkest closet my secrets I kept, in the crevices of my mind my feelings would rest. The rising and fall of my chest heavy with the burden of your distress. So distant from me was the core of your existence, so far was your presence that I have never known its essence. Question never answered is question never posed. My father, my father why do I feel so alone. Womb is bond to my mother, words build bridges with my sisters and my brothers, energies draw together friends but with my father there was no beginning and there will be no end. Selfish action understood makes for judgment never used. Mere childish reasoning lead to fear and doubt, a man’s perspective knowledge brought about. Grace be given and faith restored, hope forever brimming at our door. To recognize the hurt induced to validate the pain produced is what this son has asked of you. Insane ideas, ridiculous requests, demoralizing demands, preposterous threats. Fragmented images of a past that was never clear, unremembered traumas from a destiny I feared, help me piece it all together, help me through this stormy weather, hold my hand when I am scared, hold me tight to know you’re there. Guilt personified for self-gratification, blame that shields you no protection. Doubt that binds you to a time when perplexed was the shape of your paradigm. The truth that walks between our stories stretching out its arms to lead us to Father and Son glory. Defenses up, safety was

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