Marriage Is a Private Affair

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“Marriage is a Private Affair” Essay “Stories are not just made to make people smile…our lives depend on them,” a quote accredited to Chinua Achebe, speaks to all readers, through his short story “Marriage is a Private Affair,” powerfully and personably. In this quotation, Achebe is trying to express the point that in life pain is inevitable; it may be sudden, temporary or hindering, however, it is not everlasting. Through our pain, our mistakes and sometimes unwise actions, we can learn valuable life lessons. The three main characters in the story, “Marriage is a Private Affair,” Nene, Nnaemeka and Okeke, are illustrations of how change, pain, and sometimes breaking away from traditions are inevitable in life. However, these inevitabilities are what sometimes brings us all closer together and acquire happiness. A young man, Nnaemeka, from an Igbo village meets a young Ibibio woman, Nene, in the city of Lagos, Nigeria. They have fallen in love and intend to marry. Nene encourages Nnaemeka to send a letter to his father telling him of their engagement. The young man is hesitant because he knows his father has already arranged for him to marry a young Igbo woman from his village, in accordance with traditional customs. Instead, he goes home to the village to inform his father in person. Nnaemeka is the first of the three characters to be faced with an external conflict. He is faced with his father and himself opposing whom he will marry. Nnaemeka knows from the goodness of his heart that he is truly in love with Nene. His father, Okeke, refuses to acknowledge the young women that his son loves. Initially, the whole village agrees with Okeke that marrying outside of one’s tribe is dangerous and sons should not arrange their own marriages. Despite the tensions with both his father and society, Nnaemeka chooses to marry the woman he loves, breaking away with

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