kuls views Essay

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When I first started running seminars, I was surprised at how far people were willing to run themselves down, selling their best victim story in order to try to get a discount or free place on the event. One person even asked me if I offered a "schizophrenic discount", which in a moment of complete political incorrectness I responded to by insisting he would have to pay double if he wanted to attend. The point isn't to deny your suffering or the suffering of others - it's to stop using it as a bargaining chip and badge of honor to present your unhappiest self to the world. Whether we are looking for a romantic partner, a life insurance policy or a new dentist, there is nothing more off-putting and no redder flag than a level of neediness that says "please go out with me and buy this from me and let me do stuff for you and MAKE ME FEEL OK ABOUT MYSELF BECAUSE I REALLY DON'T!!!!" The way past this is to realize that outside of oxygen, water and a bit of food from time to time, we don't really need anything else that can't be found or created from inside ourselves. Imagine that everyone you speak to is secretly a multi-millionaire, and that if you can just say and do the right things around them, they will share some of their money with you. When you've done that for a few moments or even a few minutes, stop and clear your mind before going on to part two... Now, imagine that you are secretly a multi-millionaire, and when you meet people you are deciding whether or not to share some of your fortune with them. When I first tried that out for myself, I recognized that in the first instance, they had something I wanted and I became increasingly more needy (and creepy) in my attempts to get it from them Imagine that everyone you speak to is secretly a multi-millionaire, and that if you can just say and do the right things around them, they will

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