Is Romantic Love Exclusive?

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Must romantic love by its nature be exclusive? It is suggested that through the study of philosophy one may come to clarify one’s thinking. May i premise this study of love with the disclaimer that my mind on this matter reflects more like the day after a drinking session with the lads in the Symposium. For example, at the end of the section on love’s exclusivity, we are warned that, “it is one thing to conclude that arguments for loves exclusivity fail, but it is another to present convincing cases of non-exclusive love.” So i think he’s saying that you can argue all you like about love not being exclusive but you would be hard pressed to prove otherwise. Drink anyone? So what is the nature of exclusive love? One generally necessary feature offered by Halwani is that the lovers move towards marriage (a relationship) and for this to occur, he argues that exclusivity requires such things as the devotion of time, attention, energy and commitment. To support this Halwani says “…to have more than one love at a time seems impossible.” But is this the “nature” of love, (Soble) or is it just the day to day running of the thing? From a conceptual viewpoint the importance of intimacy, trust and privacy are highlighted as requirements for the success of love. Halwani then twists and suggests our capacity for such things in “deep,meaningful ways” must be limited, although not to the point of exclusivity, but rather that love….”cannot have too many beloveds.” Who’s shout is it? Halwani claims that to love more than one person simultaneously is to not really love at all. This seems to be based on a more socially approved and morally accepted form of love in our culture. Therefore, do we tut tut the polygamists, the Don Giovanni’s (and the french) of this world as being insincere with their love? Or do we secretly envy them for the breadth and courage they

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