Infidelity and Forgiveness

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Infidelity and Forgiveness in Romantic Relationships Linda G. Tucei University of California at Santa Barbara Spring 2008 Dr. Tamara Afifi “I can’t believe you, you disgust me! Do you have any idea what you have done to me, to us, to our family! How could you be unfaithful? You took vows in front of all of our family and friends, I am so humiliated! You are not the man I married, you have been lying to me for 9 months. We are done, I can never get over this and forget trusting you again!” This is a good example of a typical reaction one would expect when finding out their partner has been unfaithful. People define infidelity in many different ways, but research on infidelity defines it as “Any action that is perceived and/or experienced as a hurtful betrayal of trust or a threat to a relationship; it is any action that undermines the stability of a couple’s attachment bond” (Johnson, 2005, p.18). Sadly, research has shown that infidelity occurs in approximately 20% to 25% of all marriages (Hall, Fals-Stewart, & Fincham, 2008). Unfortunately, infidelity is often associated with anger, depression, and disappointment (Cano & O’Leary, 2000). Infidelity is particularly harmful to marriage because it is a way of communicating to one’s partner that the exclusivity of your relationship has been shattered (Atkins, Eldridge, Baucom, & Christensen, 2005). Infidelity has also been found to be the most common cause of divorce and it doubles the likelihood of one’s marriage ending in a divorce (Amato & Rogers, 1997). With the above research, it is proven that infidelity negatively affects relationships. Infidelity is an important issue to address with couples so they can further understand why their partner was unfaithful and how they can prevent it from happening again in the future. One of the ways to address the issue with one’s

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