How to Get Rid of a Roommate. Essay

593 WordsMar 5, 20133 Pages
How to get rid of the roommate- without committing a crime. After a long day of class, I just want to go back to my dorm room to relax. As I slide the key into the door and then turn the knob; the fouls odors meets me at the door. I enter seeing dishes stacked up to the ceiling. I stumble over her shoe falling face first into a pair my roommate of dirty underwear. At that very moment I knew that she had to go or some criminal actions were about to occur! Phase one of getting rid of my roommate I must make her believe staying there isn’t good for her well being. My first plan was for her to think her hair was coming out due to random bacteria falling from the ceiling called hairacytis. Since my roommate has sheepish wool hair it wasn’t hard to find a stray dog with the same matching hair as hers. So every night she would go to sleep I would disperse it around her head. When she would awake the next morning she would think her hair had falling out. This is the beginning of getting rid of an unwanted guest. After completing phase one you must continue onto phase two. Phase two is the final stage because you will commit all kinds of act the will make your roommate think your completely insane. Day one I started by labeling them “jumping beans”. After I ate them I jumped around the room. The second day I repeated the same steps but instead the label read “dancing beans”. I danced like I never danced before. She watched me as if it amused her but wasn’t she in for a nice shock for the next set of beans I would eat. Day three repeating the same steps as before but this time the label said “Kill your roommate beans”. I ate them giving her a wicked smile. By now my roommate is sleeping with one eye open. Now it’s time to do a little more convincing that I’m completely insane. I went and bought a lava lamp, every time my roommate enters the room I would be staring at the
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