How To Be Normal Essay

1146 WordsNov 5, 20115 Pages
HOW TO SUCCEED AT BEING A NORMAL TEENAGER: (In 15 easy steps!) 1. The first step in becoming a normal, bland, and spineless individual is very simple. Never think. About anything. Ever. If you have a thought, let it go. Let someone else think for you. Thinking is hard. Let someone else do it. Save your little conformist brain cells for something less difficult. 2. Now let's talk about music. You like unique music? Not anymore! You get to listen to the same generic, repetitive sound that everyone else does. You know, that one beat over and over with the words "Yeah", "baby" and "ooh" being repeated. Lucky you! 3. To be normal, you've gotta dress normal. If you're a girl, that means you wear leggings as pants and cut up your t-shirts so they just barely cover your chest. Uggs are a must, for any time of the year, including midsummer. If you're a guy, you wear the hem of your pants on the back of your knees. Overly violent band t-shirts for bands that you only know one song for is highly recommended. Jerseys and shorts are the number one choice for extremely cold weather. 4. Now that you're dressed like the little snowflake you are, it's time to talk about relationships with your parents! The next time they ask you to perform a non time-consuming chore or a small favour, be sure to throw a complete tantrum in the kitchen. Tell them how much you hate them and how they don't accept your individuality, as they can see by your intuition in fashion. Be sure to include that they don't love you and that they wish you were never born. Follow this by running to your room and slamming your door off its hinges. If they attempt to speak to you at any time after this, lay face down on your bed and scream at them through your pillow. Scream about how no one loves you and let your excessive eye makeup run down your face, too. 5. To ensure

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