How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk

1418 Words6 Pages
How To Avoid Falling In love With A Jerk by John Van Epp, PhD, is a very useful book and can be used toward not making the mistakes that we keep making over and over again when it comes down to us choosing a love partner. This book gives great examples of different scenario’s and warns us of red flags and warning signs that we should pay attention to. I like a lot of things about this book. The thing that I like most is that the book provides information for us about how to behave toward our possible partners. If you would apply the suggestions and tips from this book, it’s possible that you will be a better partner and you would save yourself from more disappointment. Part 1 talks about a program that John developed called PICK a Partner, which includes the Relationship Attachment Model (RAM). The first section of this book consists of introductions to how he came up with his ideas for the program and why you might need it. He emphasizes the need to use both your head and your heart when you’re dating and choosing your partner. In the second chapter of this book is when John talks about and describes RAM. He says, often comes from prematurely accelerating a relationship. He also states, jerks have no gender. The only difference is the package they come in. however, the most fundamental identifying feature of true jerks is their persistent resistance to ever changing their core jerk qualities. The first criterion for identifying a jerk is the habit of breaking boundaries (Van Epp, pg 17). The analogy part is when he describes the balance of these five dynamics as a sound enhancer, in that when you ratchet one quality up too far, or turn one down too low, the sound (i.e., the relationship) is out of balance, and something goes wrong. In chapter three the author talks about healthy people making healthy choices. He discusses the need for emotional and mental health
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