Fortune Cookie Quotes

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Jeffrey Ware Joel Osteen The other day I ate some rather extraordinary Chinese food for lunch and, on my way out, grabbed a fortune cookie. I cracked it open and read a silly little proverb meant to inspire, I suppose. I wish it had said “Brisk uphill walk after all-you-can-eat buffet is a bad idea.” Never mind. As I waddled my way home, regretting that last plate of food (so delicious…), I thought “This fortune sounds like something Joel Osteen would say.” And then it struck me—there is very little difference between Joel and those fortune cookies (except that the cookies are delicious, of course). And now, to prove it, I will give you these twelve quotes. Note: Many, many fortune cookies were harmed in the preparation of this quiz. “Happiness is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it.” Fortune Cookie “Do all you can to make your dreams come true.” Joel Osteen “Take…show more content…
Each of these emphases receives roughly half of the book’s 240 pages. And where Young seems to be enthusiastic about John Osteen, he is enraptured with Joel. The author’s bias is never in doubt. He is captivated with Osteen and seems to feel no need to display any objectivity. The book is filled with overstatement (though, sadly, this may well be unintentional hyperbolism). “Joel Osteen is one of the great marketing geniuses in the history of the Christian world;” Lakewood Church’s opening weekend in the Compaq Center was “one of the greatest weekends in American church history;” “Together, the team at Lakewood is probably the greatest ministerial team in America.” These superlatives grow tiresome and are especially ridiculous when understood in the context of Joel’s ministry. He succeeded his father in 1999, meaning that his ministry has not yet even spanned a decade. His ministry has seemingly only just

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