Forgiveness Essay

883 WordsOct 10, 20134 Pages
I am writing this in reference to my mother. In 1994, a personal incident occurred in my life that was created by my mother. She created havoc in my marriage that took almost a year to salvage, and it took me 8 years to learn how to forgive her it was that serious. It took me getting my relationship back on track with God before I could realize that I had to forgive my mom in order for God to forgive me. That was “decisional forgiveness”, which was based on I knew that no matter how bad she hurt me and my family, I needed to forgive her so that I could receive God’s forgiveness because the Bible tells us in Matthew 11:25-26: “And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.” I didn’t know at the time about the stages I went through to reach “emotional forgiveness”, but after reading through this Chapter, I have found that there is a name for this process and it’s called REACH. R = Recall the hurt. This was probably the hardest of the process because in recalling the hurt, it was almost like reliving the nightmare all over again. Not only was the hurt against me, it was against my family, to include my husband and my children. Once I could work through all the anger and resentment I still harbored against my mother, it stripped away the emotional distress it had been causing me. E = Empathize with the Transgressor. It states in Chapter 6 of Clinton, Hart, Ohlschlager, that to forgive the transgressor, victims must change negative unforgiving emotions to less negative or more positive emotions. Empathy, it says that if people can sympathize with, feel compassion for, or experience love toward the transgressor, they will reduce their unforgiveness. In order

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