Fhaid Essay

437 Words2 Pages
Intorduction The writer wrote about Tina Rosenberg’s article “Everyone Speaks Text Message”, in the introduction the writer made a good job by presenting the author’s audience and purpose, also presenting the rhetorical choices except that the writer forgot to mention the statistics when the writer stated “multiple perspectives, anecdote and to help create an easier understanding of the subject.” Also, the writer should at least give a concise background about the author. Body Paragraphs The writer does a wonderful job by explaining how effectively the author use of the rhetorical choices to attract his audience and to achieve his purpose with it throughout his draft. Also, he made wonderful topic sentences explaining the rhetorical choices briefly. However, the writer is missing the use of the transition words and the transition sentences at the end of every paragraph. Also, the writer used a long quotation in the first paragraph in the beginning of the third line; the writer should rephrase the quotation or try to condense it. There is a sentence fragment in the writer’s quotation he made in the seventeenth “When I was listened to the alphabet, I listened to our history. Now I can read the same words my mother would say to me.”(269). Also, after the last quotation the writer stated, “that some of the first thing to be translated are the keyboards in the phones” the writer misses plural (s) in “thing” and the writer should write “on” instead of “in”. In the second paragraph the writer stated “Before the Digital revolution there …” there is an unnecessary capitalization in the word “Digital”. Also, the writer misses a capitalization in the second quotation in the word “eastern” plus both the second and third quotation is missing citation. In the last sentence of the second paragraph the writer stated “Also it was too expensive for the …” in the beginning of

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