Example of Creative Writing Commentary

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Empty Town Commentary Empty Town is a piece about a troubled boy and the society he lives in. It develops journeys & pilgrimages in how the boy is taking a physical journey to the train station but also an emotional journey to leave his former-self behind. Evelyn by James Joyce was my primary stimulus. It’s written in 3rd person but also uses focalising and a flashback. I wanted to use this to build a view of my protagonist from an outsider but also give insight into his past and reasons for his emotions, like Joyce I included a backstory. I also took inspiration from Catcher in the Rye – the idea of criticising society from the mind of a teenage boy as Holden does in catcher e.g. “Goddam money. It always ends up making you blue as hell” My style of writing also took inspiration from American Psycho and Football factory -incorporating a gritty tone and language choices including slang and taboo -“now she’s a slut, an easy shag.” I expect my audience would be interested in social commentaries and teenage life. It’s written in chronological order and only exits for the flashback. This allows the reader to feel like they’re taking the journey themselves, seeing what he sees in the order he sees it. I used a flashback to give an insight into “the day his mother died” and the effect it had on the protagonist - “he cried until his eyes were raw”. I did this to evoke senses of sympathy towards him which perhaps hadn’t existed before. It also underpins emotions of the rest of the piece. The narrative’s a third person and it also focalises on the protagonist. It also slips into free indirect style when he is making his critiques on society- “Our pathetic excuses of ‘leaders’” - It puts forward the thoughts and opinions of the character without exiting third person; this keeps the boy distant which builds upon his “empty” character. The piece is read like the reader’s

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