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“When we discover how deeply the cause of our unhappiness is lodged in the mind, the realization dawns that cosmetic changes will not be anywhere near enough, that a fundamental internal transformation is required. This desire for a transformed personality, for the emergence of a new man from the ashes of the old, is one of the perennial lures of the human heart. From ancient times it has been a potent wellspring of the spiritual quest, and even in the secular, life-affirming culture of our own cosmopolitan age this longing has not totally disappeared.” -Bhikkhu Bodhi It started in January 2010 the year that I would be graduating high school; I had been struggling with weight issues ever since I can remember. I was standing in front of my mirror trying to figure out how I could have let myself become so big and therefore so unhappy. It’s hard as a ten year old to have gone through puberty so young, 5’5 120 pound kid. The doctor said I would probably never grow and that this was my adult body. That was not the answer I was looking for, I would change, I would look like the other 10 year olds, he was wrong and I would prove it so. At that age I could not grasp the concept that I could not be the same as the other 4 foot 80 pound kids. Being so young and naïve I desperately tried to find ways to alter myself so I could fit in the norm. Unfortunately my decisions were not the best. I needed fast results to a problem that physically was impossible. Maybe if I was skinnier I would be 33 happier. I developed eating disorders that would ultimately haunt me for the rest of my life. I was losing weight rapidly but I felt even worse about myself. Every year my weight would change, thin, heavy, thin, heavy. It was a never ending battle. I hid my inner pain from everyone around me, I was internally battling myself. I figured as I got through middle school the kids around me

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